That Awkward Moment…

When you realize just how awkward you are.

I’ve been blessed with the gift of being good at small talk. Between sorority recruitment and journalism training, I’ve become skilled at formulating my next question or statement while still listening to what the other person is currently saying. This is a great talent to have, especially for someone like me who cannot stand silences in conversations.

Unfortunately, I’ve noticed there seems to be a disconnect between my brain and my body.

Halfway through conversations, I’ll start to have the following internal monologue:

“How long have your arms been crossed? You probably look really unfriendly right now. Uncross your arms – slowly now, make it natural – good, now you look a lot more welcoming. Wait, now your arms are dangling listlessly at your sides…that doesn’t feel right either. Try the one arm cross. Good, that looks ok. Wait, don’t break eye contact to look down! Now you’re all shifty eyed and it looks like you’re hiding something! Stop fidgeting! There is nothing on your face! Damnit, how’d your arms get crossed again?”

And all this is going on while I’m still conversing, giving the other person the impression that I’m a really engaging, articulate seizure victim.

At 26, I’ve given up hope this is something I’ll grow out of, so I think I’m just going to own it. No, no, I’m not just fixing my hair for the 7th time in five minutes. I totally meant to turn that jerky arm movement into a high five!

(Seriously, I’m not the only one afflicted with this, right??)